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Dealing With Stress by Bonnie Lloyd

We live in a day and age where stress seems to be a normal part of everyday life. The average person works longer hours for less money. We no longer have the same level of security in our jobs. We have less time for enjoyment and fun than ever before. Stress related conditions like Irritable Bowel Syndrome are on the rise; approx 1 in 4 people suffer with it including both my partner and me! Life in the 21st century has suddenly become a health hazard!

Though stress is not always a bad thing, living in a perpetual state of stress is. Our bodies are wonderful creations but even the best biological system has its breaking point.

Some people think that stress is something which we 'do to ourselves' while others think that it is something within us caused by beliefs, attitudes and expectations. Most of the time it is our inability to cope with our circumstances in any area of our lives. Not being able to cope does not make us weak people! It makes us human and all humans have limits!

Coping with stress is not really sufficient. We must learn to manage stress and learn how to deal with it-this is easier said than done! Many people say that they find stress 'pushes them on'. Others claim to never get stressed as they sit there with clenched fists and are chain smoking!

Which of these do you recognise?

• Muscle tension
• Back pain
• General aches and pains
• Chest pains
• Stomach and abdominal pain
• Digestive problems; heartburn, constipation, diarrhoea
• Muscle spasms, nervous ticks
• Fidgeting
• Twitching eyelids
• Shortness of breath, breathlessness
• Rashes and skin irritations
• Itchy skin without cause
• Dry mouth
• Rapid pulse
• Pouding, racing heart
• Frequent cold, sniffles, runny nose
• Keep clearing the throat
• Headaches
• Tiredness
• Lack of energy
• Insomnia
• Disinterest in sex
• Dizziness
• Nausea
• Sweaty palms
• Butterflies in the stomach
• Sweating without activity
• Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness
• Depression

There are many more symptoms of stress but these are the most common. As most of us know, when our minds aren't happy, neither are our bodies.

These are just ideas and methods which I find work for me.

• Keeping a Diary
  
  This is a place for you to sound off about anything that is bothering you or stressing you out. The reason why it helps me is that it is for my eyes only. I can say whatever I need to without the fear of being judged or upsetting anyone. The trick is not judging my own thoughts and feelings! When I'm keeping a regular diary I seem to be able to cope with life a lot more easily.
  
  
• Daily Affirmations
  
  I know what you're thinking! This does not have to be done out loud or in front of the mirror (although you can if you're feeling brave!) All this is, is saying something nice or encouraging to yourself every day. How many times a day do we call ourselves things that no one else would be allowed to get away with? It's probably several hundred times every day! When I wake up, I say something nice to myself! When I catch myself saying something negative in my head, I try to counteract it with something positive. I say try because no-ones perfect at this and I don't always do it! The more you do this, the more you will believe that what you are saying is true. Everyone needs encouragement so why not give it to yourself? I felt really stupid when I first started doing this, but once I got over the self-consciousness I found it worked a treat!
  
  
• Exercise
  
  Some doctors have started to prescribe 20 minutes exercise per day in the treatment of depression. This is because it releases the brains very own happy drug! Exercise is a great way to release the tension of the day. This is especially useful for those days when you know you're going to kill the next person who asks you another stupid question! Not only do you get to do all that but you can get fit too! It doesn't matter what exercise you choose to do. It could be something strenuous like a gym workout or a relaxing game of golf. This is about whatever works for you! I took up going to the gym and Thai Boxing last year. It helps me to release any stress and pent up anxiety or aggression. It also helps me keep a positive mental attitude because I know I am being good to myself by doing something to look after my body. I have a lot more energy when I'm doing exercise and a real lust for life. It also means that I get to eat chocolate without feeling guilty because I know I'm not going to put on any weight!
  
  
• Think of a Happy Place
  
  When I feel as though I am being eaten up by stress, I think of a place where I have always been happy. Try to imagine that you are there and that you are safe. Nothing can hurt you there. Stay there until you feel calm. Try to come back to your actual situation with that feeling. Do this as many times as you need to.
  
  
• Phone a Friend
  
  Never underestimate the feeling that comes from talking to someone who you know cares. I usually make an arrangement with one of my closest friends when I know I'm going to be doing something that I feel is stressful. This person knows that if I need to, I'm going to phone them and just rant. It's good to talk!
  
  
• Take Some Time
  
  I'm one of those people who usually needs half an hour alone every day. This is just time where I can just concentrate on myself, check that I'm OK and just be with me. It amazes me that when I first tried doing this it was really hard to just sit with myself without the distraction of my life. This does go once you get used to it. You don't have to sit and do nothing. Go for a walk. Have a candle lit bath. Meditate. Do whatever you fancy as long as you enjoy it and you don't have to concentrate on the needs of anyone else.